Tuesday, September 30, 2014

A Boot Tale

The other day on the news I saw a disturbing segment where women were getting their calves surgically reduced to fit into certain style knee boots. I couldn't believe that women would go to such extremes for fashion. It reminded me of a time when I was working in NYC and I justified the hefty price tag of a certain pair boots because I swore that they went with everything I owned and were the only boot I would wear all winter long. So let's paint a picture of how it all hillariously went down... I am 22, living part time in my parents apartment in NYC {because I couldn't afford my own}, I decide to go into a high end department store {one that I definitely shouldn't even be looking at considering my entry level salary} I head directly to the shoe department, I spot a pair of delicious cognac colored boots with a modest heel height that I think is the prettiest damn thing I have ever laid eyes on. I tell myself even after looking at the ridiculous price tag that if I can get them on, they are coming home with me. So there I am amongst the beautiful people of NYC breaking into a full on panic sweat {ya know those times when you get nervous you will get the item on but not be able to get it off} pulling with all my might to get these painfully gorgeous boots on over my bulky cuffed jeans {skinny jeans weren't a thing yet}. I am pretty sure the salesperson watched on in horror as I wrestled with the luxurious leather all the while reminding himself to zip his lip because he wanted the commission. Then after one final labor-like pull, the boots were on and while they were certainly snug, I was in love. I walked around the carpeted sales floor in a victory lap, so proud of my accomplishment to get these reluctant things on. I stupidly charged the boots so I was to not clear out my bank account on a single purchase and happily skipped out of the store with my retail glow. Fast forward to a ridiculous night out with two of my friends where I had a few too many drinks and my nightmare came true....the boots were stuck...like really stuck. I literally was lying on the couch while my friend Craig and Enzo pulled and pulled trying to get the SOB's off of me. Ya know, one pulling while the other simultaneously trying to unzip the jammed zipper.  In my liquored state and the claustrophobic feeling of being in these boots forever started to roll in, I just said, "cut the damn things off of me...I need to be free" and so they did. The following morning I looked down to the floor at my sad soles and was full of regret. Not only was the bill still being paid off, I had taken the murdered boots to a bunch of cobblers for repair of which no fix was available. SO what is the moral of this ridiculously long and embarassing story?!  One - charging items we can't afford is a BAD idea, that credit card bill will haunt you the following month and two - don't buy shit that doesn't fit...style shouldn't ever be a struggle. There is always a way to have things fit properly without sacrificing how fashionable it is. Just take a look below at my favorite boots of the season available in a slew of styles for every woman of every size!
Untitled #686
Booties - one // two // three 
Extended Calf - one // two // three 


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