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Thursday, February 9, 2017

Our Path To Parenthood

This post has been almost two years in the making. I am so happy to share that John and I are expectingour first child! We are truly in shock and a bit nervous to actually celebrate this amazing news considering the twenty two months of disappointment we just went through. However since I decided to share our path to parenthood with you all publicly, I felt it wouldn't be fair to not share how it all turned out. So here I am taking a giant leap of faith and spilling our very early pregnancy news with all of you. I am officially pregnant! 

We are so grateful for all of you that supported us, cheered us on, prayed for us, lit candles for us at church, dropped food at our house when I wasn't feeling well, gave recommendations for books, acupuncture & meditation, sent baby dust to carry on me for good luck, gave me their lucky charms till I no longer needed them, called in favors to labs for us to make sure the very best was tending to our little embryo, offered their ears, their tissues, their own personal stories of tragedy and triumph. There aren't enough words to properly to describe how much you all helped me through this challenging time. You all lifted me when I was drowning in the isolating world of IVF and trying to handle it all in secrecy. The best thing I ever did was put my story out there and connect with others who knew how it all felt. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the love and support, it meant worlds to me & we will still take all those well wishes and prayers for the next nine months if you are offering them! 

Now onto the details for those who are interested. I saw Dr. Bayer at Boston IVF in Brookline & I absolutely adored him. He was not only kind and sensitive but he was so patient with me and all of my questions & concerns. Even his nurse was great at putting up with me and my daily inquisitions via email. Our first round of IVF was seven eggs retrieved, one fertilized and that made it to day five blastocyst. It however wasn't viable for transfer due to a chromosomal abnormality. Our second round we had fourteen eggs retrieved and five fertilized. When those five went to genetic testing we were told only one was viable and about two weeks ago our one and only babe was transferred into my uterus. It was amazing, John was able to join me in the "OR" and We saw a little puff of light pop on the ultrasound screen letting us know the embryo made its way nto my belly. During the brutal waiting period I did everything I read about helping the implantation process along. I ate pineapple like it was my job, I wore extra warm socks everywhere including to sleep {which I loathe, holy claustrophobia}. I went to acupuncture pre-transfer and post transfer as well as every forty eight hours for the first five days {some people believe this helps with implantation success}, I ate tons of warm foods, took long walks everyday and so on...pretty much you name it, I did it. The night before our first pregnancy test I broke down into tears, wondering if all my efforts were for nothing. How many rounds would I have to go through to get our baby. Would my impending 38th birthday make the process more difficult moving forward. All the pressure and self doubt that comes with the IVF process was officially crumbling on me and I just expected that the following day we would be back to square one. Luckily for us, the blood work came back within a few hours and when I saw my doctor's number pop up on my phone I thought I was going to be sick. Then I heard the nurses voice say "I have good news" the most massive amount of tears started rolling down my face. I then got to wake up my husband with the news he was going to be a father and that everything we had been through was finally worth it. We called our parents & a few friends who gave us the most beautiful reactions that I'll cherish forever.

I have since had two blood tests three days apart to make sure my HCG levels were rising appropriately and luckily the results were very good. So that is our news! I am 4 weeks & 6 days pregnant. We get our first ultrasound at the end of this month. Now I just need to learn to not hold my breath for the next 35 weeks. I wake up everyday having to remind myself that this is real, that it actually happened, that every little sensation I have in my body is actually preparation for a human to grow inside of me. So while I don't fully trust my body yet after it's betrayal on me last Spring and I was super nervous about sharing our news too soon,  I am however truly trying my best to remain positive and hopeful that our hard work paid off and this is finally our turn. We are so happy little baby Dooley will be joining our family October 2017!

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